What does peanut butter, jelly, the kitchen, and mathematics have to do with 2 Timothy 1:7? Hold on to your dishtowel a minute and I’ll get there.
Why do you homeschool? The best answer is also the answer that is easily given, yet often given without meaning and understanding; “I believe it is God’s will for us.” That answer should be the end of all discussion, but it isn’t. It is too easy of an answer; too broad. While it is the ultimate answer, I believe we need to look deeper; we need to look at what it really means. We need to look at why God would call us to homeschool. I mean, why you?
Most of us are parents; we aren’t the best ‘qualified’ to teach our children. We haven’t been trained to be teachers, we don’t know the subjects well, and we don’t have all the supplies that schools have. If God wants what is best for our children, wouldn’t that mean He would want them taught by the best teachers in the best place to learn? Yes. Yes? Yes. But we need to take a look at what the world means by qualified, and at what we term as being best. To do that we are going to look at peanut better and jelly kitchen math, and at how the teachers who are so qualified to teach become qualified.
When I think of what makes a teacher qualified, this is what I come up with:
1.)Four years of higher education. (That sounds impressive, until you stop and take a look at just what classes they are taking in those four years, and how well they mastered all those subjects.)
2.)Teacher training. (Yes, but how much training, and what does it really do for them?)
3.)Teachers know the subjects they teach inside and out. (Perhaps, although I don’t think that is always true for all subjects. Even if they do know the subject, does it mean they know how to teach that subject? Does it mean they know how to teach it to all the children? Does it really?)
Mr. Anderson was my 9th grade pre-algebra teacher, a ‘qualified’ teacher with years of experience and knowledge of the subject. Mr. Anderson was also boring beyond words. I don’t recall what I got in the class, but it wasn’t an A by any means. I do recall how Mr. Anderson taught. This ‘qualified’, certified, and experienced teacher’s style of teaching was a dry, monotone, almost angry lecturing style. He then followed this by passing out worksheets to complete in the class, and then at home. He would then sit with his feet on the desk at the front of the class looking bored and scary, in case any of us were brave enough to approach with a question. If we did brave the scowl and approach him, he spoke in sharp tones and was very unsympathetic when you didn't understand.
Not all teachers are a Mr. Anderson, but not all teachers are what we would hope for our children, even though they are trained and ‘qualified’.
Thinking back to my days in high school leaves me with great doubt as to how well the teachers really teach. I did have some teachers who were far better, at least for me, than others. Some of them seemed to have a passion for teaching, and that set them above the rest of the teachers.
Mr. Morgan was my history teacher in 10th grade, and what a teacher! He loved the subject, he had a passion for it, and I loved his class. He used to teach the subject like a story teller in the front of the class. I never enjoyed history in school until his class. What grade do you think I got? I got a C. Why did I get such a low grade? I really didn’t care about the grade one way or the other. I had no desire to remember what he was talking about; it was just interestingly delivered. Mr. Morgan knew his subject, was passionate about his subject, and was a trained, certified, ‘qualified’ teacher; but I still took almost nothing out of that class that had to do with history.
Let me be very clear here. I do not hold Mr. Morgan at fault for my failure to know more about history. I didn’t make any effort to learn the subject. Most of the children probably thrived in his class. He was a wonderful teacher. Even the best teachers can not 'make' a child learn if the child does not put out the effort to do so. There are many wonderful teachers who truly can do a better job teaching a subject than we could at home. That isn’t the point. The point is that as a parent we needn’t feel inadequate to teach a subject just because we don’t have the training of a teacher. Education, training, and familiarity of the subject do not guarantee a child will learn the subject taught.
Now let’s look at peanut butter and jelly kitchen math. What is it? It is a mom with a young child, making a sandwich for lunch, cutting it into quarters and talking about addition or fractions. What is she teaching that child? A real life example of why mathematics means anything to that child, and more importantly, she is making them a sandwich. What? Why is making the sandwich more important? Well, in making them the sandwich she is showing them love, providing for them, being with them, enjoying them, and hopefully praying before they eat it. All those things the child will take with them into their adult life. They will take the nurtured, loved, provided for, and taught memories with them.
An older child may be beyond peanut butter and jelly math, but are they beyond the listening teacher mother who sits and listens when their feelings are hurt, counsels at times, struggles with them not because she has to but because she cares? Closing the chemistry book to take time to pray with your child when they are struggling is a rich learning experience for them. If they are struggling in school it is their peers they turn to, and the chemistry book’s demands can not be shuffled to fit the needs of the child. The child must keep pace with the needs of the system. If they don’t, they are left behind.
It would be easier to send them to school somewhere, especially when there are problems and difficulties. Sometimes we get tired, and it is an inviting thought that someone else would take up the effort, the battle, and the cost of teaching our children. Why don’t we? Because we are doing what we feel the Lord has called us to, because we love them, because we want what is best for them. Even if they don’t agree that homeschooling is best, as my daughter doesn’t at this point in her life, I can’t help but believe they will eventually see behind our decision to a heart that beats for the Lord and beats for them. That is one of the lessons they will take with them in life.
What about all the training on how to teach and to plan the lessons? How can we compare with that? Before any of you begin to teach your child, you have a minimum of 4 years training; extensive and specific to how the child learns. It begins the minute that child is born and continues throughout childhood. A teacher has training from another person on how to teach, and a teacher has spent time with different children. Your training is specific. God knew whom to give that child to, He knew what that child would need, and He knows what He has planned for that child. Are you going to tell me that He knows what He wants for that child’s life and yet didn’t put that child in the best place to accomplish that plan? As for lesson planning, it isn’t that difficult. There is you, your child, and the material to be taught. For a teacher there is a classroom full of students, limited time, little flexibility, and the material to be taught.
What about our not knowing the subjects or having all the best resources? What about it? All the resources in the public or private schools do not guarantee a child will learn. Does that leave us without resources? No! While we may not have all the best materials, there are plenty out there, AND we have the ultimate resource, God. Let’s look back at 2 Timothy again. God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear. We don’t need to fear because He is with us and will help us, in life, and in homeschooling. He has given us love and sound judgment. How does that compare with teacher training? It is so far superior that they aren’t even in comparison. We can ask the Lord to help us, and even using materials that aren’t as wonderful as a school’s, the Lord will bless and more than make up for the lack.
What about our own lack of understanding of the subject? We are capable of learning, and even more, our children are. As a child gets older we are more guide than teacher. As a guide we may not know the subject well, but we know and love our child and will do our best to help them learn it. I think that far out weighs the value of a teacher who knows the subject and doesn’t love your child.
What if I can’t get my child to understand a subject? Go to God, and then relax. Think about the cracks your child would likely fall through if they were in a school setting. Kids fall through the cracks all the time in schools, even when teachers know their subjects and how to teach it. God knows you, your child, and the plan He has for them. Persevere, ask God to help, and trust Him. Your child may not get it, but they are getting what the Lord has for them if you are doing your best. That doesn’t mean you stick your head in the sand and just let things go. Look around for other options, ask others for suggestions, and seek God in your effort. Remember He is here with us, and walk the path God has set before you.
Maybe God hasn’t called me to homeschooling and I am just fooling myself? Hmm. Do you think that God didn’t know where you would be with this? He gave you a child or children that you love, and that He loves and has a plan for. He knew you would consider and ultimately end up homeschooling. Did He make a mistake? Hardly. Do you pray about your decision to homeschool? God hears, God cares, and God moves. If you are homeschooling and you aren’t doing so in direct disobedience to God, then you are supposed to homeschool. (You would know if you were in direct disobedience, your heart would tell you. It doesn’t mean you don’t have questions. It means you feel that you are doing wrong, and know deep down inside that you are not listening to God. That is disobedience.) When in doubt, ask God. God doesn’t make mistakes, God has given you your child, and He knows you are homeschooling them. Don’t worry, if God wants your child in public school He will let you know it. (I’m preaching to myself as well as the crowd here. At times we all doubt.)
One of the things I can not stress enough is that you should write out why you are homeschooling, beyond the ultimate reason of being ‘called of the Lord’. Why? So you can remember and see clearly what and why you are doing this.
In the Old Testament times the Lord had His people set up markers, PILLARS OF REMEMBRANCE of what He had done for them. He instructed the people of Israel over and over to remember what He had done, and to teach it to their children diligently. A list of your thoughts about homeschooling is a type of pillar of remembrance. We forget. We get caught up in the daily grind of life and we start to see ‘insurmountable’ battles, or hear the whine of either society or our own children begging to be in a real school. We get tired and weary and we see what looks like an easy path out of the battle. With peanut butter smeared on the kitchen counter, kids fighting with each other or us, and society telling us we are incapable, we can begin to believe it. That is why we need to take a quick look at our pillar of remembrance from time to time; so that we see clearly. Instead of giving in to the battle we need to remember. In remembering, we need to get back on our knees and ask God to remove the fear, increase our love, and help us walk in sound judgment.
The foundation of your pillar of remembrance is the ultimate reason: God has called you. Now, you need to build on that. Each reason you have for homeschooling is one more block set upon your ultimate foundation. List those reasons out, and build that pillar of remembrance. I am sure once you sit down and take a pen in hand you will find that the reasons will start to flow quickly and easily.
To help you begin, think about those four years of higher education that ‘qualified’ teachers have… most of which isn’t pertinent to actually being a teacher, not all of the subjects studied are mastered by the teacher-to-be, and most of the subjects are taught from an atheistic, evolutionary, socially excepted viewpoint. Start there, and get out a pen and write your pillar of remembrance. Mine is on my refrigerator. Even if you have written it out before, sit down and rewrite it, or at least review it. It is like taking a trip to the place you crossed over into the homeschooling ‘land’ that God called you to. You see the pillar of remembrance, remember why you are homeschooling, and the doubts get put in their place.
Textbooks, work pages, and the structure of a classroom can never compare favorably to peanut butter and jelly sandwich math. Peanut butter and jelly math is from parents who listen and care, experiencing life and all it throws at you with your child there, watching a parent deal with life. It is a child knowing that a parent cared enough to deal with all the battles that we face in homeschooling, took the time to be with you, and didn’t take the easy way out. That is the heart of peanut butter and jelly math, or history, or language arts. It is learning at home. And Oh! What they learn!
It's okay if your pillar is stained with peanut butter or jelly smudges... it is just the added color of real life.
WARNING: I just might ask you to bring your pillar of remembrance with you to the next support group meeting, and for those of you who don’t come…to email it to me.
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