Have you ever stood on one side of an issue and had someone you care about stand on the opposite side of that same issue?
Have you ever felt like you were straddling a gulf of opinion, or straddling the gap between your ideal and another’s?
If you homeschool, there is definitely a gap between you and many people who believe that homeschooling is wrong.
It is not only the gap separating us from our homeschool ‘opponents’ that I wish to talk about.
There is a gap, sadly, that exists within the homeschool community, even between Christians.
I like to refer to this gap as The Homeschool Chasm.
It is this chasm of homeschooling that I sometimes feel like I am straddling.
This chasm divides us, and leaves us failing to truly love one another.
Let us see if we, as Christian homeschoolers, can bridge the gap.
Together, lets take the divisiveness out of the Homeschool Chasm… please join me on the bridge!
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How do you homeschool?
There are many styles of homeschooling these days. Sometimes I think there are as many styles as there are families. Some of theses approaches are very similar, and some are as far removed from each other as can be.
Why are you homeschooling?
While there are so many different approaches to homeschooling, there are really only three reasons why someone chooses to homeschool their children.
1.)Because they feel that it is best for their children.
2.)Because their lifestyle is more suited to an education at home.
3.)Because their children are no longer welcome in the school system. (I hope none of you reading this are facing the 3rd reason. If you are, do not give up hope; turn to the Lord and seek His will for you, and His strength. I am not addressing the third reason within this article as it is less of a ‘reason’ for homeschooling than it is an act of desperation or necessity.)
Do all Christian homeschoolers share something in common?
Ultimately, as Christians, we live our lives doing what we feel the Lord has for us. As Christian homeschoolers we feel that the Lord would have us homeschool our children. As Christians, the only thing that differs for each of us is the reason why we feel the Lord wants us to homeschool. Missionaries might feel that homeschooling allows them the freedom to take their children with them to serve the Lord. Families that move frequently might feel that it is best because it is hard for children to be taken from one school to another. Parents with children who are tender hearted, unique, have special interests, disabilities or capabilities might feel that the school either doesn’t address their child’s needs, or that it even hinders them. Some parents feel that it is better for children to spend time within the family than in a school setting. Others object to what is taught within the school system. Perhaps you feel the Lord wants you to homeschool because the school environment is hard on your child. Whatever the reason Christian families choose to homeschool, all of them believe they are following God’s will for their lives, and the lives of their children. This is what we all share in common.
Can God have more than one purpose, one plan, one style of homeschooling?
All of us come from different places and experiences. We have come down different roads to get to this place in our lives where we are homeschooling families. Some of us had good experiences growing up, some of us had negative ones, some mixed. Some of us did well in our school settings, some got through by the skin of our teeth, and some may not have graduated high school or finished later as an adult. None of our children are exactly alike, share all the same interests, have all the same talents. Our children will be used by the Lord in different ways, different places, for different purposes. While we are all heading in the same direction, to follow the Lord with our lives and to live eternally with Him in Heaven, the details along the way are different for each of us. Because of this, the style of homeschooling might need to be different for each of us.
How can THAT be in God’s will?
When we stop and look at our reasons for homeschooling, we need to keep in mind that they are OUR reasons. I believe my reasons for homeschooling, and my approach to homeschooling, to be the best ones. I honestly do, and it probably is the best approach for the best reasons… for us as a family.
When someone shares with you their approach to homeschooling, we need to look at them in love, and not with a critical eye. We haven’t walked in their shoes, we aren’t heading, necessarily, in the same direction in the plan of God, and we don’t know what He has laid on their hearts. If something truly bothers you about another’s homeschool approach, pray for them. If they are seeking the Lord, we must trust Him to guide them, correct them as needed, and take them where He wills. He will do it. He cares for them more than you do.
Homeschoolers, are you called to critique or called to love?
As Christians we shouldn’t divide over styles of homeschooling, or even over homeschooling verses public school. The only thing that we should divide over is a different Christ. There is only one Savior; we part ways when someone doesn’t follow Jesus. Sadly, within the homeschool community there can be a tendency to judge by our homeschool style, parenting styles, or where we have come from.
What about Public School??
How can a Christian be in God’s will and have children in public school? I honestly don’t know, because you see, God hasn’t called me to have children in a public school. What I do know is that there are good Christians with children in the public school. We can’t judge our brothers and sisters in the Lord, hold them away from ourselves as if they are inferior, or speak to them as if they are backslidden.
Pam's personal opinion: I believe with all my heart that homeschooling is superior to public or private school. My path to this place of being a homeschool family was through negative experiences in a public school as a child. (Not all of them were negative, but some were very negative.) That experience, and a love for being around my children when they were small, not wanting to miss out on my time with them, watching them grow and learn, led me to homeschooling. My Experience over the years: I have three wonderful nieces who have been public schooled all their lives. The youngest one just graduated last year. These are godly young women. I can not say that my brother and his wife were out of the will of the Lord in raising them. They did a great job. The oldest one is now a teacher. I am confident that God will use her in that role. For me, putting my children in public school would have been a sin. For my brother it was not. I don’t know how you raise godly children in a setting that hates Christianity, but I have seen it done.
What about parents who are not following God’s will?
There are definitely parents who are not following where God would have them go in this area of their lives. It doesn’t mean they are not Christians, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are in sin. I am sure that there are areas in my life that the Lord would have different, not that I see them currently, but I know I am not perfect and I am not always walking 100% in the will of the Lord. I make mistakes, sometimes I make decisions based on my own selfishness, sometimes out of ignorance. There are parents who are out of God’s will AND homeschooling, and there are parents who are out of God’s will and not homeschooling. There are parents who are out of God’s will because they are disobeying Him by not homeschooling; this is true. It is hard to step into something so different from what most of the world is doing. Pray for them. There are also parents who are not out of God’s will and they are not homeschooling. We can not let the will of the Lord in our lives dictate what is God’s will for another. Deep down I believe that it would be best for everyone to be homeschooled, but I can’t let that ideal be the standard by which I judge another. The standard to judge by is Christ-likeness, not school choice.
How do we not divide over homeschooling?
When we meet other Christians, whether they homeschool, homeschool in part, homeschool differently from us, or do not homeschool at all, we need to look at them as fellow believers. We aren’t called to determine if they are following the Lord in their school choice. We are called to love, pray for, encourage, fellowship in our love of the Lord. We need to turn our critical eye inward, go before the Lord and examine our own choices, and turn a gracious eye outward, allowing the Lord to deal with others in His way and His time. I love my children, and I choose to homeschool them. Another might love their child, and yet choose to work with them through the public school, partial homeschooling, online school, or public option program. What do we have in common? We share a love for the Lord, and love for our children.
How do we fellowship with others who have such different standards in education?
Our relationship with the Lord is like a bridge over the homeschool chasm. You don’t have to cross over, you just meet in the middle on the bridge and let the Lord narrow the gap between you. Oh, and if there doesn’t seem to be a bridge there yet… PRAYER BUILDS BRIDGES! Build one!
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