YOU ARE SO ADEQUATE!

YOU ARE SO ADEQUATE! by Mrs. Jane

One common thread among all of us as moms, is how often we feel inadequate for the job of educating our kids. Most of us aren’t teachers, some of us didn’t like school, some of us didn’t do well in school, some learned to bluff our way through, and some didn’t go to college. Yet we know God is leading us to homeschool our kids. Isn’t it like God to call the ill-equipped? He always uses the least likely to that He can get the glory.

Some times my tendency, and that of others I have talked to, is to feel stupid as I teach some of the subjects. I feel unsure of how to go about this task of giving our kids what they need. It seems as if some one else is always teaching more or doing things better. More than likely, they are looking at you thinking you are doing things in a better manner than they are.

Phil. 4:4 says: Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

This is an amazing verse, especially when things are going well; when everyone can find each of their books, when they listen and understand what you are saying, and when they do what you ask them to. But, it is so hard to rejoice when they cry because, “it’s too hard”, or maybe they didn’t do it the right way. The, ‘rejoice and let your gentleness be known to all,’ can be so hard when they don’t listen, when you’ve looked for the grammar book for an hour, or when they are fighting. Be anxious for nothing? But Lord, the thought comes, what if this isn’t enough? Will we ever feel like we’re doing enough? Present your requests and cares to God; He asks us to, He wants to encourage us, and He will give us peace and guard our hearts in Christ Jesus.

We have to remember that: in our weakness is Christ’s strength; in our inability is His wisdom; in our lack of anything, He is our sufficiency. I encourage you as this school year comes to an end, to press on toward your goal, as Phil. 3:12 call us to do. If you are still discouraged, get out your ‘Pillars of Remembrance’ so that you can go back over the reasons you are doing this. Some times we need a daily reminder. Compare yourself only to Jesus, who rights all of our wrongs, gives grace in abundance, shelters us in the shadow of His wings, and is a very present help to each of us in our troubles.

Maybe we need to LIGHTEN UP, IT IS APRIL. The end is in sight. A favorite prayer of mine, other than “Help!” or “Encourage me!” is “Help me be creative, Lord.” We have the Creator of the entire universe to inspire us in how we convey information to our kids. Ask Him to help you and inspire you! After all, He paints the sunsets, gives the starts their twinkle, and adorns our world with such beauty!

Ideas to hopefully help you get through the next two months:

Learn about someone in history by having one of your kids, or yourself, learn about a character without telling anyone else in your family. (Such as George Washington, Betsy Ross, etc…) Then have a tea party, or dinner party, and tell the rest of the family someone special is coming to visit. The person portraying the guest can dress up as that person and come to the party, and everyone can try to figure out who they are by asking lots of questions. Treat them like the special guest they are, so everyone can learn about manners too.

Get together with another home school family to do art, read a book, do a science experiment, or to go to the park.

Make feet shapes out of paper and put either numbers or letters on them. Place them in order on the floor around the house, with some that aren’t in the right order. Then have them jump over the ones that are in the wrong order in order to follow the ‘alphabet or number path’. This will help them learn the alphabet or their numbers.

Find a great book to read aloud each day. My kids loved that. There are so many stories that teach all about character, courage, and other qualities you would love your kids to emulate. It may sound corny, but we did that even in high school. The kids would put together puzzles, do a craft, or draw while they listened. We learned about many amazing people, and incredible times in history, using this method throughout their school years. There are so many books that make life and learning exciting!

Make cookies. (It' math you know.)

Write a note to each of your kids to tell them why they are so great; bless their day!

Create a scavenger hunt that includes words you are trying to teach them to read. Sometimes they are more willing to read for a scavenger hunt than a book.

To get them to write, show them a picture and have them write a story about it. If they are too young to write, they can do it orally. Or, put an unusual object on the table and have them make up a story about it.

Konos is a curriculum that teaches unit studies. It includes all the subjects except math, which it touches on lightly. It suggests the following for a spring activity: (This is a partial view only)

Start a unit on patience or Spring. Talk about Ecc. 13:1-8 where it talks about how there is a time for everything… a time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.

Plant some seeds

Read about George Washington Carver. He overcame so many obstacles in his life, and he was a botanist.

Learn about different kinds of plants and photosynthesis

Check out all the books about plants

Identify plant parts

Grow bean sprouts (they grow fast)

Let the older children read THE GIVING TREE by Shel Silverstein and A TREE IS NICE by Janice Urdy to their brothers and sisters

Draw plants

Have a picnic and see how many different kinds of plants you see

Write a paper on a particular plant you use (coffee, Cotton, etc…) from the field to our house and all the different steps in the process

The Konos process can be used to learn about anything. They have come up with so many ideas, it is impossible to relay all of them to you, even just the ones about plants. It makes things fun for the kids, giving an amazing variation to the many ways kids learn. There are lots of choices for you to be able to map out a fun way to learn about a particular topic.

School doesn’t have to look like school as we experienced it. Have fun with it!! We want our kids to love learning, and not feel as if they are missing out by not going to school. W.B.Yeats (who ever that may be) said, “Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.” May we allow the Lord to help us to “Rejoice in all things.” He is near. Good or bad, we can with thanksgiving present our requests to Him, so that His peace will guard our hearts and minds in Chris Jesus each day, as He gives us what He has set before us. You are adequate because of Him, and the job you are doing is sufficient because of Him.

Newsletter?

I would like to see our group have a newsletter. Translation... is anyone interested in writing for this, editing it, or being in charge of it? What do you think about having one? I was thinking perhaps one newsletter every two months. Thoughts please.

Christians & The Homeschool Chasm

Have you ever felt pulled in different directions?

Have you ever stood on one side of an issue and had someone you care about stand on the opposite side of that same issue?

Have you ever felt like you were straddling a gulf of opinion, or straddling the gap between your ideal and another’s?

If you homeschool, there is definitely a gap between you and many people who believe that homeschooling is wrong.

It is not only the gap separating us from our homeschool ‘opponents’ that I wish to talk about.

There is a gap, sadly, that exists within the homeschool community, even between Christians.

I like to refer to this gap as The Homeschool Chasm.

It is this chasm of homeschooling that I sometimes feel like I am straddling.

This chasm divides us, and leaves us failing to truly love one another.

Let us see if we, as Christian homeschoolers, can bridge the gap.

Together, lets take the divisiveness out of the Homeschool Chasm… please join me on the bridge!

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How do you homeschool?

There are many styles of homeschooling these days. Sometimes I think there are as many styles as there are families. Some of theses approaches are very similar, and some are as far removed from each other as can be.

Why are you homeschooling?

While there are so many different approaches to homeschooling, there are really only three reasons why someone chooses to homeschool their children.

1.)Because they feel that it is best for their children.

2.)Because their lifestyle is more suited to an education at home.

3.)Because their children are no longer welcome in the school system. (I hope none of you reading this are facing the 3rd reason. If you are, do not give up hope; turn to the Lord and seek His will for you, and His strength. I am not addressing the third reason within this article as it is less of a ‘reason’ for homeschooling than it is an act of desperation or necessity.)

Do all Christian homeschoolers share something in common?

Ultimately, as Christians, we live our lives doing what we feel the Lord has for us. As Christian homeschoolers we feel that the Lord would have us homeschool our children. As Christians, the only thing that differs for each of us is the reason why we feel the Lord wants us to homeschool. Missionaries might feel that homeschooling allows them the freedom to take their children with them to serve the Lord. Families that move frequently might feel that it is best because it is hard for children to be taken from one school to another. Parents with children who are tender hearted, unique, have special interests, disabilities or capabilities might feel that the school either doesn’t address their child’s needs, or that it even hinders them. Some parents feel that it is better for children to spend time within the family than in a school setting. Others object to what is taught within the school system. Perhaps you feel the Lord wants you to homeschool because the school environment is hard on your child. Whatever the reason Christian families choose to homeschool, all of them believe they are following God’s will for their lives, and the lives of their children. This is what we all share in common.

Can God have more than one purpose, one plan, one style of homeschooling?

All of us come from different places and experiences. We have come down different roads to get to this place in our lives where we are homeschooling families. Some of us had good experiences growing up, some of us had negative ones, some mixed. Some of us did well in our school settings, some got through by the skin of our teeth, and some may not have graduated high school or finished later as an adult. None of our children are exactly alike, share all the same interests, have all the same talents. Our children will be used by the Lord in different ways, different places, for different purposes. While we are all heading in the same direction, to follow the Lord with our lives and to live eternally with Him in Heaven, the details along the way are different for each of us. Because of this, the style of homeschooling might need to be different for each of us.

How can THAT be in God’s will?

When we stop and look at our reasons for homeschooling, we need to keep in mind that they are OUR reasons. I believe my reasons for homeschooling, and my approach to homeschooling, to be the best ones. I honestly do, and it probably is the best approach for the best reasons… for us as a family.

When someone shares with you their approach to homeschooling, we need to look at them in love, and not with a critical eye. We haven’t walked in their shoes, we aren’t heading, necessarily, in the same direction in the plan of God, and we don’t know what He has laid on their hearts. If something truly bothers you about another’s homeschool approach, pray for them. If they are seeking the Lord, we must trust Him to guide them, correct them as needed, and take them where He wills. He will do it. He cares for them more than you do.

Homeschoolers, are you called to critique or called to love?

As Christians we shouldn’t divide over styles of homeschooling, or even over homeschooling verses public school. The only thing that we should divide over is a different Christ. There is only one Savior; we part ways when someone doesn’t follow Jesus. Sadly, within the homeschool community there can be a tendency to judge by our homeschool style, parenting styles, or where we have come from.

What about Public School??

How can a Christian be in God’s will and have children in public school? I honestly don’t know, because you see, God hasn’t called me to have children in a public school. What I do know is that there are good Christians with children in the public school. We can’t judge our brothers and sisters in the Lord, hold them away from ourselves as if they are inferior, or speak to them as if they are backslidden.

Pam's personal opinion: I believe with all my heart that homeschooling is superior to public or private school. My path to this place of being a homeschool family was through negative experiences in a public school as a child. (Not all of them were negative, but some were very negative.) That experience, and a love for being around my children when they were small, not wanting to miss out on my time with them, watching them grow and learn, led me to homeschooling. My Experience over the years: I have three wonderful nieces who have been public schooled all their lives. The youngest one just graduated last year. These are godly young women. I can not say that my brother and his wife were out of the will of the Lord in raising them. They did a great job. The oldest one is now a teacher. I am confident that God will use her in that role. For me, putting my children in public school would have been a sin. For my brother it was not. I don’t know how you raise godly children in a setting that hates Christianity, but I have seen it done.

What about parents who are not following God’s will?

There are definitely parents who are not following where God would have them go in this area of their lives. It doesn’t mean they are not Christians, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are in sin. I am sure that there are areas in my life that the Lord would have different, not that I see them currently, but I know I am not perfect and I am not always walking 100% in the will of the Lord. I make mistakes, sometimes I make decisions based on my own selfishness, sometimes out of ignorance. There are parents who are out of God’s will AND homeschooling, and there are parents who are out of God’s will and not homeschooling. There are parents who are out of God’s will because they are disobeying Him by not homeschooling; this is true. It is hard to step into something so different from what most of the world is doing. Pray for them. There are also parents who are not out of God’s will and they are not homeschooling. We can not let the will of the Lord in our lives dictate what is God’s will for another. Deep down I believe that it would be best for everyone to be homeschooled, but I can’t let that ideal be the standard by which I judge another. The standard to judge by is Christ-likeness, not school choice.

How do we not divide over homeschooling?

When we meet other Christians, whether they homeschool, homeschool in part, homeschool differently from us, or do not homeschool at all, we need to look at them as fellow believers. We aren’t called to determine if they are following the Lord in their school choice. We are called to love, pray for, encourage, fellowship in our love of the Lord. We need to turn our critical eye inward, go before the Lord and examine our own choices, and turn a gracious eye outward, allowing the Lord to deal with others in His way and His time. I love my children, and I choose to homeschool them. Another might love their child, and yet choose to work with them through the public school, partial homeschooling, online school, or public option program. What do we have in common? We share a love for the Lord, and love for our children.

How do we fellowship with others who have such different standards in education?

Our relationship with the Lord is like a bridge over the homeschool chasm. You don’t have to cross over, you just meet in the middle on the bridge and let the Lord narrow the gap between you. Oh, and if there doesn’t seem to be a bridge there yet… PRAYER BUILDS BRIDGES! Build one!

Peanut Butter & Jelly Math (or... Why You Homeschool)

I woke up this morning with a new view of an old familiar friend, 2 Timothy 1:7. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound judgment.”

What does peanut butter, jelly, the kitchen, and mathematics have to do with 2 Timothy 1:7? Hold on to your dishtowel a minute and I’ll get there.

Why do you homeschool? The best answer is also the answer that is easily given, yet often given without meaning and understanding; “I believe it is God’s will for us.” That answer should be the end of all discussion, but it isn’t. It is too easy of an answer; too broad. While it is the ultimate answer, I believe we need to look deeper; we need to look at what it really means. We need to look at why God would call us to homeschool. I mean, why you?

Most of us are parents; we aren’t the best ‘qualified’ to teach our children. We haven’t been trained to be teachers, we don’t know the subjects well, and we don’t have all the supplies that schools have. If God wants what is best for our children, wouldn’t that mean He would want them taught by the best teachers in the best place to learn? Yes. Yes? Yes. But we need to take a look at what the world means by qualified, and at what we term as being best. To do that we are going to look at peanut better and jelly kitchen math, and at how the teachers who are so qualified to teach become qualified.

When I think of what makes a teacher qualified, this is what I come up with:

1.)Four years of higher education. (That sounds impressive, until you stop and take a look at just what classes they are taking in those four years, and how well they mastered all those subjects.)

2.)Teacher training. (Yes, but how much training, and what does it really do for them?)

3.)Teachers know the subjects they teach inside and out. (Perhaps, although I don’t think that is always true for all subjects. Even if they do know the subject, does it mean they know how to teach that subject? Does it mean they know how to teach it to all the children? Does it really?)

Mr. Anderson was my 9th grade pre-algebra teacher, a ‘qualified’ teacher with years of experience and knowledge of the subject. Mr. Anderson was also boring beyond words. I don’t recall what I got in the class, but it wasn’t an A by any means. I do recall how Mr. Anderson taught. This ‘qualified’, certified, and experienced teacher’s style of teaching was a dry, monotone, almost angry lecturing style. He then followed this by passing out worksheets to complete in the class, and then at home. He would then sit with his feet on the desk at the front of the class looking bored and scary, in case any of us were brave enough to approach with a question. If we did brave the scowl and approach him, he spoke in sharp tones and was very unsympathetic when you didn't understand.

Not all teachers are a Mr. Anderson, but not all teachers are what we would hope for our children, even though they are trained and ‘qualified’.

Thinking back to my days in high school leaves me with great doubt as to how well the teachers really teach. I did have some teachers who were far better, at least for me, than others. Some of them seemed to have a passion for teaching, and that set them above the rest of the teachers.

Mr. Morgan was my history teacher in 10th grade, and what a teacher! He loved the subject, he had a passion for it, and I loved his class. He used to teach the subject like a story teller in the front of the class. I never enjoyed history in school until his class. What grade do you think I got? I got a C. Why did I get such a low grade? I really didn’t care about the grade one way or the other. I had no desire to remember what he was talking about; it was just interestingly delivered. Mr. Morgan knew his subject, was passionate about his subject, and was a trained, certified, ‘qualified’ teacher; but I still took almost nothing out of that class that had to do with history.

Let me be very clear here. I do not hold Mr. Morgan at fault for my failure to know more about history. I didn’t make any effort to learn the subject. Most of the children probably thrived in his class. He was a wonderful teacher. Even the best teachers can not 'make' a child learn if the child does not put out the effort to do so. There are many wonderful teachers who truly can do a better job teaching a subject than we could at home. That isn’t the point. The point is that as a parent we needn’t feel inadequate to teach a subject just because we don’t have the training of a teacher. Education, training, and familiarity of the subject do not guarantee a child will learn the subject taught.

Now let’s look at peanut butter and jelly kitchen math. What is it? It is a mom with a young child, making a sandwich for lunch, cutting it into quarters and talking about addition or fractions. What is she teaching that child? A real life example of why mathematics means anything to that child, and more importantly, she is making them a sandwich. What? Why is making the sandwich more important? Well, in making them the sandwich she is showing them love, providing for them, being with them, enjoying them, and hopefully praying before they eat it. All those things the child will take with them into their adult life. They will take the nurtured, loved, provided for, and taught memories with them.

An older child may be beyond peanut butter and jelly math, but are they beyond the listening teacher mother who sits and listens when their feelings are hurt, counsels at times, struggles with them not because she has to but because she cares? Closing the chemistry book to take time to pray with your child when they are struggling is a rich learning experience for them. If they are struggling in school it is their peers they turn to, and the chemistry book’s demands can not be shuffled to fit the needs of the child. The child must keep pace with the needs of the system. If they don’t, they are left behind.

It would be easier to send them to school somewhere, especially when there are problems and difficulties. Sometimes we get tired, and it is an inviting thought that someone else would take up the effort, the battle, and the cost of teaching our children. Why don’t we? Because we are doing what we feel the Lord has called us to, because we love them, because we want what is best for them. Even if they don’t agree that homeschooling is best, as my daughter doesn’t at this point in her life, I can’t help but believe they will eventually see behind our decision to a heart that beats for the Lord and beats for them. That is one of the lessons they will take with them in life.

What about all the training on how to teach and to plan the lessons? How can we compare with that? Before any of you begin to teach your child, you have a minimum of 4 years training; extensive and specific to how the child learns. It begins the minute that child is born and continues throughout childhood. A teacher has training from another person on how to teach, and a teacher has spent time with different children. Your training is specific. God knew whom to give that child to, He knew what that child would need, and He knows what He has planned for that child. Are you going to tell me that He knows what He wants for that child’s life and yet didn’t put that child in the best place to accomplish that plan? As for lesson planning, it isn’t that difficult. There is you, your child, and the material to be taught. For a teacher there is a classroom full of students, limited time, little flexibility, and the material to be taught.

What about our not knowing the subjects or having all the best resources? What about it? All the resources in the public or private schools do not guarantee a child will learn. Does that leave us without resources? No! While we may not have all the best materials, there are plenty out there, AND we have the ultimate resource, God. Let’s look back at 2 Timothy again. God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear. We don’t need to fear because He is with us and will help us, in life, and in homeschooling. He has given us love and sound judgment. How does that compare with teacher training? It is so far superior that they aren’t even in comparison. We can ask the Lord to help us, and even using materials that aren’t as wonderful as a school’s, the Lord will bless and more than make up for the lack.

What about our own lack of understanding of the subject? We are capable of learning, and even more, our children are. As a child gets older we are more guide than teacher. As a guide we may not know the subject well, but we know and love our child and will do our best to help them learn it. I think that far out weighs the value of a teacher who knows the subject and doesn’t love your child.

What if I can’t get my child to understand a subject? Go to God, and then relax. Think about the cracks your child would likely fall through if they were in a school setting. Kids fall through the cracks all the time in schools, even when teachers know their subjects and how to teach it. God knows you, your child, and the plan He has for them. Persevere, ask God to help, and trust Him. Your child may not get it, but they are getting what the Lord has for them if you are doing your best. That doesn’t mean you stick your head in the sand and just let things go. Look around for other options, ask others for suggestions, and seek God in your effort. Remember He is here with us, and walk the path God has set before you.

Maybe God hasn’t called me to homeschooling and I am just fooling myself? Hmm. Do you think that God didn’t know where you would be with this? He gave you a child or children that you love, and that He loves and has a plan for. He knew you would consider and ultimately end up homeschooling. Did He make a mistake? Hardly. Do you pray about your decision to homeschool? God hears, God cares, and God moves. If you are homeschooling and you aren’t doing so in direct disobedience to God, then you are supposed to homeschool. (You would know if you were in direct disobedience, your heart would tell you. It doesn’t mean you don’t have questions. It means you feel that you are doing wrong, and know deep down inside that you are not listening to God. That is disobedience.) When in doubt, ask God. God doesn’t make mistakes, God has given you your child, and He knows you are homeschooling them. Don’t worry, if God wants your child in public school He will let you know it. (I’m preaching to myself as well as the crowd here. At times we all doubt.)

One of the things I can not stress enough is that you should write out why you are homeschooling, beyond the ultimate reason of being ‘called of the Lord’. Why? So you can remember and see clearly what and why you are doing this.

In the Old Testament times the Lord had His people set up markers, PILLARS OF REMEMBRANCE of what He had done for them. He instructed the people of Israel over and over to remember what He had done, and to teach it to their children diligently. A list of your thoughts about homeschooling is a type of pillar of remembrance. We forget. We get caught up in the daily grind of life and we start to see ‘insurmountable’ battles, or hear the whine of either society or our own children begging to be in a real school. We get tired and weary and we see what looks like an easy path out of the battle. With peanut butter smeared on the kitchen counter, kids fighting with each other or us, and society telling us we are incapable, we can begin to believe it. That is why we need to take a quick look at our pillar of remembrance from time to time; so that we see clearly. Instead of giving in to the battle we need to remember. In remembering, we need to get back on our knees and ask God to remove the fear, increase our love, and help us walk in sound judgment.

The foundation of your pillar of remembrance is the ultimate reason: God has called you. Now, you need to build on that. Each reason you have for homeschooling is one more block set upon your ultimate foundation. List those reasons out, and build that pillar of remembrance. I am sure once you sit down and take a pen in hand you will find that the reasons will start to flow quickly and easily.

To help you begin, think about those four years of higher education that ‘qualified’ teachers have… most of which isn’t pertinent to actually being a teacher, not all of the subjects studied are mastered by the teacher-to-be, and most of the subjects are taught from an atheistic, evolutionary, socially excepted viewpoint. Start there, and get out a pen and write your pillar of remembrance. Mine is on my refrigerator. Even if you have written it out before, sit down and rewrite it, or at least review it. It is like taking a trip to the place you crossed over into the homeschooling ‘land’ that God called you to. You see the pillar of remembrance, remember why you are homeschooling, and the doubts get put in their place.

Textbooks, work pages, and the structure of a classroom can never compare favorably to peanut butter and jelly sandwich math. Peanut butter and jelly math is from parents who listen and care, experiencing life and all it throws at you with your child there, watching a parent deal with life. It is a child knowing that a parent cared enough to deal with all the battles that we face in homeschooling, took the time to be with you, and didn’t take the easy way out. That is the heart of peanut butter and jelly math, or history, or language arts. It is learning at home. And Oh! What they learn!

It's okay if your pillar is stained with peanut butter or jelly smudges... it is just the added color of real life.

WARNING: I just might ask you to bring your pillar of remembrance with you to the next support group meeting, and for those of you who don’t come…to email it to me. 

Training & Tools

Training & Tools

“Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

Have any of you wished that following this verse God would have written out complete instructions on raising children? Still, He didn’t. The next verse deals with the rich ruling over the poor. Hmm. So, how do we train a child in the way they should go? In order to answer that question we must look to the rest of scripture for the answers. What does the scripture say? For the most part, over and over, it tells us to teach our children about God, teach them the Word of God, train them to know Him. It also shows us an example of how to know how to train them.

Let’s look at Judges 13:8 for a minute. “Then Manoah entreated the Lord and said, ‘O Lord, please let the man of God whom Thou hast sent come to us again that he may teach us what to do for the boy who is to be born.’” Here we see a wonderful example of parents, who don’t have all the answers on how to raise the child which God is giving them, turning to God and asking Him how to raise the child. Manoah’s wife had just been visited by an angel of the Lord. The angel had told her that she would have a son, Samson, and that he would deliver Israel from the oppression of the Phillistines. I love to read this because the very next thing we see is that Manoah asks God to tell him ‘how’ to raise the boy. Manoah calls out to the Lord!

I am sure that all of us, in our hearts, have called out to God. Perhaps we called to Him when we found out that we were expecting, when we were holding our newborn in our arms, when we hit a difficult situation with an exasperating toddler or a troubled teen. I am sure that our hearts have cried out to the Lord. But have we ever ‘sought’ Him?

My favorite part of this whole incident in the Bible is not the birth and subsequent heroic events of Samson’s life. What I love is that the parents sought God for how to raise Samson, and God answered them! That passage gives me infinite hope for those pressing questions that come my way. It is the arrow that points us to the answer for ‘how’ we are to train our children.

When my daughter was very little she was difficult for me to understand. I was very frustrated. I was at the end of my ideas on how to reach this strong-willed little girl. It was during this time that I went to a women’s conference at my church. At that conference I attended the best teaching on parenting that I have ever had the privilege to sit through. It was taught by the wife of my pastor, and she shared about her own struggles with her strong-willed son. In that session, she shared how she had turned to the Lord and asked Him to show her what to do with her son. I went home and tried it.

I began crying out to the Lord in my quiet time in the morning, specifically, about my daughter; and He met me there. I will never forget the morning when my daughter came in, right as I was finishing my prayer time… and began coloring on the wall. She knew this was wrong. She was standing there with a ‘look at how naughty I can be’ look on her face, holding the crayon, defiant before I ever said a word. I felt the Lord stir my heart and tell me to just go over and tell her I love her. (Not my natural response!) I didn’t say a word, I just got up off my knees and wrapped my arms around my daughter, telling her I loved her. I watched a change come over my little daughter, whose back would stiffen so quickly when she was disciplined, and she started to cry and say she was sorry. I will never forget that moment. In that instant I learned that God would show me how to handle my child.

This is not a new idea. I am sure most of us know we should do this, and we have probably told others to pray about their children. Yet how is it that this is not what we think of first? We run to friends, books, call in radio shows, pastors, counselors, mothers, the guy on the street… and then finally turn to God. Or, we ask God in a casual way, and then run to the neighbor’s house to ask them for advice. Do we stay on our knees and seek to hear from God? Do we wait upon God, believing that He will answer us?

I love one of the words used in Judges 13:8. I love the word entreated. Manoah didn’t just say, “Oh, by the way God, do you have any hints for raising Samson?” He ‘entreated’ the Lord. Entreated implies asking with intensity, to ‘seek’, or to intercede. Do we intercede on behalf of our children?

Perhaps we believe that we already have the answer to ‘how’ to train up a child in the way they should go. Alright then, ‘how’ are you training your child? What are your goals?

When we look at Proverbs 22:6, I am sure that all of us parents share a desire that our children will always walk with God. In light of that, what are we training our children to be? What are your goals for your children? Is it success? Is it a college education? What do your children see as the most important goal you have for them? Is your primary goal that they know the Lord? Do your children know this, see this, feel this coming from you?

As Christians our primary goal should be that our children walk with God. That does not mean that we shouldn’t encourage them to attend a college, but it does mean that college is not the goal. God’s will for each individual child is the goal. So how do we train our children with that goal in mind? God has given some very basic instructions for training children, but the finer details we should be seeking from Him.

God has a plan and a purpose for each of our children. He has designed them all uniquely. Why not ask Him how to raise them? Shouldn’t we be like Manoah, and go to the source?

We have two tools for training our children in the way they should go.

1.) We have the living Word of God which we would should be instructing our children in. We should be teaching them about God each morning, noon, and night. Have we told our children the wonderful things that God has done in our lives? Do we put Him first in front of them?

2.) We have the power of prayer, and we should be using it for each of our children. Are we asking God what He would have us do for each of our children? Have we asked Him to lead us, to lead them, to stir their hearts, and to show us what we need to know in order raise them to walk with Him? Have we asked Him what source our children should learn from? Have we asked Him to guide us as we make the big decisions in their lives? How about the small ones? Do we think we have all the right answers? Are we set in our ways without taking the time to ask God what He wants in their lives? He should be your ultimate source on parenting.

The first homeschool support group I was in was led by a gal who encouraged us to pray before we looked for homeschool curriculum, before we went to the conventions and fairs, before we opened the textbooks and began each subject. How’s your prayer life?

I would like to encourage you to stop and ask God how you should raise your child, each and every day. There is nothing so small concerning our children that God is not interested in. There is nothing too big for him to handle. While we, like Manoah, do not have all the answers, God does! We should all, like Manoah, turn to God and ask Him how to raise our children.

How is your prayer life?

Homework:

1.) As you think of each child, what area of their life do you need an answer from God about?

2.) Ask God! If you have to lock yourself in your closet and cry out to Him, do so! He knows right where you are, and He knows all the answers.

3.) Find one special way to tell each of your children that you love them.

4.) Have you told your child, today, that Jesus loves them? If not, do so. If you have, do it again!

“Then Manoah entreated the Lord… ” Judges 13:8a Get going… move on your knees!

Einstein-ism

When we first started our homeschool journey my son was four. I was zealous to pour into his little mind everything I could. I was ready to send him to college by age 12. I was sure he had the ability; and so began our first year of homeschooling.

That first year was a very full year. I went to a lot of homeschool meetings and listened to a lot of wonderful teaching on homeschooling. I soaked up books on how to teach children. I got my hands on as much curriculum as I could in my quest to find the best out there. Our school days were full. We joyfully worked through the entire Kindergarten curriculum in the first half of the year, and looked about for more. I was thrilled.

So what happened? I slowed down. I don’t know how long my son could have kept up the pace, perhaps all the way into college, perhaps not; that isn’t the point. I had begun to question what I was trying to do, and I came up with an answer. I was trying to ‘build’ an Einstein.

Thankfully, the Lord was prompting my heart. The speakers that I found myself listening to were dealing with keeping the ‘home’ in our education, with letting a child ‘play their way’ through science, and ‘keeping it relaxed’ in our homeschool approach. The books I began to read were all centered on enjoying your child, spending quality time, and BEING AN EXAMPLE OF CHRIST to them. As I started to look at my heart, I realized that the example I was setting was more the example of a teacher than of a Christian or a mother. My emphasis was wrong. I started asking myself the ultimate question of whose will was I fulfilling, mine or God’s? As I asked that question I came up with a few additional questions. Did I want a child that was educated but unable to relate to people? Did I really want my child to go to college early? Was that what God had in store for him? It was after I started asking God what I should be teaching my child, and what I should be expecting from him, that I truly began to ­homeschool my son.

Einstein-ism, is an easy trap to fall into. It doesn’t happen only to beginning homeschool parents. It doesn’t affect only parents with young children. You see, at times I still have to revisit the same issue. I find myself pushing my child, expecting more at times than they are able to give. There have been times when I have yelled, times when I have berated, and sometimes even just given up on my child. Each one of those responses represent my responding in the flesh, not in the spirit. Each one reflects a response when I was more concerned with my expectations, than what was right for my child. I had once again fallen into Einstein-ism. You see, Einstein represents the world’s standard. Making ‘smart’ kids, making sure they can handle college level by 9th grade, making sure they have all the right subjects, get straight A’s, complete that book… it all boils down to the same thing; the world’s standard. There have been countless times when I have caught myself falling under the pressure of the world’s standard, when what I really needed was to get back on my knees and seek the Lord for how to get a point across, which material to use, when to let a difficult lesson go for a time.

My son is now in college.

There were times I was tempted to make him memorize spelling lists of 30 a week, to know the presidents and vice-presidents in order, and don't forget their wives! In high school there was a lot of temptation because we wanted it to look good on the transcripts. Thankfully, the Lord has been my faithful guide, and we made it through to college without burning him out or turning him into a walking encyclopedia. He gets along great with people, has a great sense of humor, and most important of all, he loves the Lord and is seeking His will for his own life. I know that the Lord will use him for His plans and purposes; my son’s heart is sensitive to the Lord. When it comes down to it, shouldn’t that be the standard?

I am not writing this to stand in front of you a knight in shining armor, an example to follow. I am writing this to challenge you to look at each one of your children… and pray over each one! God already knows what they should be as adults. He knows what material will best meet their needs. He knows the precious special qualities that He will use in their lives; He designed each one with all of that in mind. Why not go to the source? I am writing this, to point you to the ultimate source for each of your children, the very God who gives us, and them, life.

UP FRONT AND DOWN TO IT - Or... Your homework assignment. Please answer the following questions honestly; you are the only one reading the answers.

1.) Have I ever spent time asking the Lord to show you what He sees in your child? (Each of your children?)

How often do you pray for each child?

a.) many times throughout each day

b.) every day

c.) at least once a week

d.) a couple of times a month

e.) here and there

f.) I have once

g.) this is a new thought

You are a homeschool parent, you can grade your own answers. I hope that each of you take time to pray for each of your children. Remember, the Lord loves your child more than you do; how awesome to share with Him about your child.

2.) List a special ability, talent, or quality about each of your children. Pray and ask the Lord to show you how to develop that quality further. (If you can’t list a special talent or quality, keep praying for the Lord to show you what is special about your child.)

3.) Pray for each of your children that they would stay pure; be free from the evils around them in this world; have hearts that are softened toward Him; walk with Him all the days of their lives; know and understand His will for their lives.

4.) Pray for the future spouse of each of your children. Pray as above for that future spouse. Even though you don’t know who that may be, God does. Pray for them. Pray for both your child and that future spouse that they would each learn what they need to know in order to be all that they can be for each other and for Him.

“And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” Colossians 3:17

Get going… move on your knees!

Welcome!

I am new to this, so at the beginning I beg your indulgence. I wanted a place for homeschoolers, especially those in our support group, to be able to keep connected, to share ideas and thoughts, and to encourage each other. That's it this time. Short, simple, and to the point. Mrs.Pam