My own public school experience was fraught with experiences I would rather neither of my children went through. To me, public school is the equivalent of the valley of death. As I drove home this morning I thought about this new direction we are taking, and how it is possible that I ended up here; allowing my daughter to walk through this valley.
Secretly, I wonder if my decision wasn't influenced by my being beaten down with an unhappy to be home schooled daughter who is more stubborn than all get out! Those are my weak moments. We all face doubts, and that one surfaces from time to time. It is usually then that the Lord stirs my heart and gives me a morning like this one.
I got up this morning grumbling. (If you see me first thing in the morning, after several mornings of not getting enough restful sleep, well, it isn’t pretty.) I set my feet on the floor with thoughts of how stinky the stupid school was. (And tomorrow, SATURDAY, I have to get up early and take her even earlier to the school to take the PSAT.) As I made breakfast for my daughter I thought about how we used to stay snuggled in our beds until long after sunrise. (Did you know that at 6:15 the other morning, as I watched my doggie in the back yard, I was counting stars?! Bright, lovely stars filled the sky. Ugh! I am so decidedly forever a night owl type person.) Before P School life we used to read wonderful books snuggled under blankets, and not before sunrise! So, I was feeling very grouchy.
My daughter has been sick the last few days with another cold. She was a bit slow moving this morning and ran out of time to eat. The plate with the eggs, toast, and tea with honey is sitting behind me on the breakfast counter as I type. On my short drive to the P school I am thinking about the breakfast and growling about this direction in our life; fortunately I am doing this silently as I don’t want my daughter’s day to start off negatively. I drop my daughter off, and sit in a line of cars, watching all the kids in all shapes and colors in an array of attitudes march off into the ugly building.
As I drive home thinking about some minor, yet present, things that my daughter has shared with me about teachers, subjects, and other kids, which I do not approve of, the Lord's pray pops into my brain. The section that reads, ye, though I walk through the shadow of death I will fear no evil begins to reverberate through my brain. I feel like the Lord is tapping me on my shoulder; a kind of 'hey there Grumpy, let's talk' kind of a tapping. Rapidly running through my brain are all the good things that have come from this direction we are taking with my daughter's schooling. It might be a hardship in ways, and I may not like some of the things she encounters, but they are minor by far. Meanwhile, she is growing in new ways that all seem positive; and my focus starts to clear of the fog like grumpiness of this morning, and I begin to see things like you would on a crystal clear day. I sense in those moments just how much the Lord is in control; while taking my daughter in a direction different than I would have chosen, it is still very much a part of His plan. It is in those moments that I recognize that my thoughts about being beaten into P school are wrong.
I being to think about why we went this way, what the goals were, and how I’ve seen those goals being met while on this path. I being to remember the way the Lord spoke to my heart when we made this decision, and I feel like the second part of the afore mentioned verse comes into play, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me (her.) As I pull into my garage I am at peace once again with where my daughter is, and with what the Lord is doing in her life.
For those of you who are wondering how this transition has gone, and what positive things have come out of being on this path, let me tell you that it has been an incredibly easy to transition. I have heard home schooling parents express fear about not being able to get their child back into the school system if they ever needed to. I have heard parents talk about choosing curriculum that matches the school system in order to help their children adjust if they ever needed to put them back in the system. I have heard parents wondering what they can do to match the social setting of the public schools. (I am still wondering why you would want to.) For us, trying to match the schools has never been the agenda; having always intended to homeschool though high school. Our one goal, mostly my husband’s, was to have high school level courses that colleges would recognize on the transcripts. For example, none of our courses have titles like Advanced Study of Household Mechanics (which could be a fancy name for sitting younger siblings and learning how to wash laundry.) Both of my children were given courses on Home Economics, which did include learning to do laundry, but also included things like cooking, nutrition, cleaning, meal planning, budgeting, and checking accounts. I was greatly surprised at how easy it was for the school to enroll and move on with my daughter's education. I went in prepared to fight for her being given credit for the courses we had listed, prepared to explain what was taught, and prepared to go over what material was used. They looked at the transcript and said it all looked good and that was that. Okay, actually, they were pleased with her being beyond her grade level in a couple of areas. She is behind a year in mathematics for those who are intending to enter straight into an accredited college, but that didn't bother them in the least. I did title the courses to match as well as possible the courses a high school would offer.
So how has she adjusted academically? Her grades have been better than she was getting at home. She feels smart and capable, except in Drawing. She did have to learn a hard lesson about making up missed work. She had to stay home sick and missed two days. She missed some assignments and it knocked her grade down in two of her classes. Sadly, we were too late catching the lapse and could not remedy the lower grade. It was sad to see; she had been doing so well and yet did not get to see the real fruit of her efforts.
How has she adjusted in the ever so over-rated 'social' issue? Socially she has a good time at school and the kids treat her well. The one thing she regrets is that she doesn't have more friends there. (I, however, am not too displeased with that. School friends bring up lots of headaches like parties, hanging out, and… please, Lord, not for a while yet, that whole issue of dating.) She has friends that she talks with in each of her classes, and she knows most of the football team by name. She is disappointed that she doesn't have more friends, and she feels that if she had gone there all four years she would have more friends. I think she is a bit naive about how hard it is to make and keep 'good' friends. It is also still early in the year. She comes home happy from school every day, with only a couple of rare exceptions. She has no desire to be home schooled. Over all, I'd say she has adjusted to P school with incredible ease. Being a socially oriented girl, I was never really concerned that she would have a difficult time. This is what she wanted, and I knew she was good at starting conversations and being friendly. I was surprised, however, at just how easy it has been.
You might be asking yourself what the point of this article is. Let me clue you in by saying that whatever the Lord has in store for you is the right path, and you can trust Him to guide you on it. I also want to make it clear that I am not putting public school out there as an option I recommend.
I wouldn't trade the years I had with my children at home for anything. (Thank You, Lord, for having us on that path!) I believe that home schooling is the best education for your children. I strongly advocate that being around mom, dad, other adults, and children of mixed ages is healthy. (I also believe that the order is correct, and that children benefit more from adult interaction than they do from peer interaction.) What about sheltering children? Isn’t that a bad thing? I think not. Sheltering from most of the ugly situations out there in the world is wise; allowing children the time to mature before they are faced with so much of the ugliness of life. Every situation, however, does not allow for home schooling. It isn't always the correct path. The correct path is the one the Lord has for you. I hope and pray it home school all the way. I think it is the gentlest path for the children; builds close, strong families; and gives children the time to be children. It also is the best way to teach a child about Christ, and to instill your values, morals, and Christian foundation. The amount of time you spend with your child is priceless. Why would you want to give that to another? It only becomes harder to relate to a child the more divided your authority is. It isn't easy to homeschool, but it isn't easy to go the public school route either; both have their own trials.
Let me end this ‘little’ (yes, I am laughing when I say that) article by again stressing that no matter what path you are taking, if you are following where the Lord is leading (and that IS the key) then you can claim that verse for yourself and fear no evil, for He is with you.
Surprisingly, I am happily no longer home schooling. This is because the Lord has other things for me right now. And yes, you will be there yourselves before too long. Very soon you will look back and wonder how it went by so fast. I look back and miss the years I have spent home schooling. If I could go back to those earlier years, even with some of the trying battles, I would go without hesitation. (As long as my energy levels were what they were then.) I would love to go through those multiplication battles, the spelling battles, the restless toddler and needing help 3rd grader frustrations, the messy rooms, the unfinished assignments, the hectic schedules trying to make it on time to the field trips, the school all day because you were up against a learning wall and how can I make dinner in time days. Yes, I would go back. I would go back to the smiles, the laughter, the good books, the play in the back yard, the science museums, the bird watching walks, the look how fast I can go on my bike for physical education, and the wild haired daughter running down my driveway at age 4 with joy all over her face days. Man! I would go back, and I would homeschool all over again-joyfully!
May the Lord bless you, guide you, and remind you of the joys as you face the battles.
Pam
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